Identity

How would you answer the question "who are you"?  In the past up until the recent present I would have always answered that question  by saying "I'm Stari and i'm a medical student".  But when I think about it, that's not a very useful answer.  My name in itself doesn't tell you anything about what makes me me.  Nor does my occupation - you may be able to infer some things about me from it, but it doesn't tell you anything really meaningful. Maybe, then, the answer is to add in a few more things that you do as part of your identity, for example hobbies.  Granted, that might provide some more information about what you do but not about who you are or the essence of you.

But here's  the thing, if you define yourself by what you do, what do you do when you no longer can do the things you always did?  Who are you then?  This is something that I discovered with my first bout of cancer and its something that I am revisiting again now.  Being ill, I am not able to any of the things I did before.  Does that mean that my identity has now changed to being a nobody?  Or a patient?  I personally don't think that something so fundamental as identity can change so flippantly. Being a cancer patient tells you what I am doing but not who I am.  Cancer is not my identity.

For me, my identity is kept safe in God.  This is one thing that will never change.  While, the things of this life will perish, God will never change, He will always stay the same.  Having my identity in God means  that I am rooted and have my feet planted.  Then when life's disasters hit I will not be destroyed.  Imagine yourself in a ship wreck at sea.  There is lots of debris being tossed and turned in the violent sea.  If you decide to cling to those bits and pieces and save them from the wreckage your fate will be sealed along with the debris and you will be at the merci of the raging sea.  However, if you find a rock that is rooted and you cling to that, despite how many times the breakers and the waves crash down on you, you will not perish.

This is a lesson that I have had to learn the hard way.  There have been countless times where I have found myself out at sea clinging to my possessions only to go down with them.  I have had numerous identity meltdowns when I have lost what I was clinging onto.  But now that I know who I am, I can rest.  I know who I am is safe in God's hands because He will never fail me.

So who am I?  I am a Child of God.