Saturday, 6 April 2013
So what's the plan now? Well unfortunately, they are pretty sure I have something called Infective Endocarditis. Basically, it means I have an infection in my heart caused by a specific bacteria. I have a clot on one of the walls inside my heart that carries that bacteria. They need to give me IV antibiotics for a month which I will have to stay in hospital for. The problem with this is that I'm going to miss my window where I can get out of the hospital for a couple of weeks before the start of the next cycle because they can't really delay the treatment regime.
So I am a bit gutted about the whole thing. I was so relieved that the chemotherapy treatment had gone so well, I never expected something like this to happen. When I think about the fact that I'm not getting out of here for a long time, I feel numb and maybe a bit angry. It feels very unfair. The future looks bleak filled with nothingness. I don't think that the emotional trauma of the last week has properly hit me, but I know it will in time. But I guess this is the part of the storm where the I will need to trust that the anchor will sustain me. Time will tell how the story plays out.