Thursday, 4 April 2013
The Plot Thickens
So how am I feeling? Not great. I am very apprehensive about tomorrow but also getting quite fed up of this onslaught of complications. I'm still not allowed out of my room so I'm getting restless and now this is likely to lengthen my stay in hospital. I guess the hardest part is not knowing when all of this is going to end and if there are any more horrors to come. I can't bring my self to be optimistic for fear of let down nor can I bring myself to be pessimistic for the pain that it brings in the moment. So I'm stuck in this weird emotional limbo not quite knowing what to do with myself. Can I just say how much I hate pain. I really hate pain and I hate feeling uncomfortable and not being able to find rest. To be honest, I think that is one of the main things that is playing on my mind.
I guess there is nothing more I can really say. Even though the situation is quite bad, it could always be worse and I'm not privy to what God is sheltering me from. I can only continue to trust that He will look after me. It is a hard thing to trust when your in a situation but the other option is despair; I think I'll go for trust.