The end of this chapter could not be more welcome. It was a surprise, a brilliant one at that, when I was told that I will be able to leave the hospital tomorrow. Originally, due to the intense antibiotic regime, it was looking like I would not be able to have a break from the hospital at all and they would just start cycle three when they were ready to. But now I get a break, probably for a week; could be slightly more. I still have to come back to the hospital everyday though to have IV antibiotics but at least it is just once a day as oppose to six.
What a ride. When I leave tomorrow, I will have been in here for fifty days exactly; a new record for me but one I have no intention of breaking. What started off as being an uneventful non interventional cycle turned into one big mess. Funny how the winds can change like that. When I look back on the events of the last fifty days it feels like a dream; it feels like someone elses life. I can't believe I endured what I did, but that in itself is a testimony to God's providence and strength; without Him, I am nothing. There has been great pain in this cycle, both physical and emotional, with hard choices still to be made. Oddly, I have peace about it; a peace that sinks deep into my soul. In a strange way, what has happened has become normalised and I don't feel devastated or destroyed. I now know that the darkest times are yet to come, but for now I shall live to find the diamonds of joy that each day brings. God has brought me through this far and I have no reason to believe that He won't continue to drag me through, albeit kicking and screaming, what is to come. If there is one thing I've learned this cycle, it is that no matter how desperate life gets, it is God who is in control. What is more, the safest place to be is under His wing so that is where I will stay.
http://youtu.be/xGPS8sa-bRQ
ReplyDeleteNothing else to say...
Well that's a small prayer answered. Thank you Lord
ReplyDeleteStari,
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to hear about your bad news. I know you are strong and you can do this, and I'll be thinking of you.
Love,
Becki