Wednesday, 3 July 2013
Just before I was diagnosed back in January, I, and many others, prayed fervently that God would heal me instantaneously so that I didn't have to travel down this torturous road. But, as we know, the answer was a big fat no. It has taken me a while to gain peace about this issue. When I got the diagnosis, I was suddenly confronted with many questions about God's nature and why He allows suffering. But here's the truth; all the pain and suffering in this world is not His fault and is not of His doing. This is not the way that God intended His creation to be. When sin entered the world, through our rebellion against God, it tarnished and set out to destroy God's perfect world. God grieves over this more than we can ever imagine. But, there is hope. He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to this earth as a human to conquer satan, his servants, his works and effects, which He did on the cross. This has profound implications. It means that because satan has been defeated, God's creation is no longer damned for eternity. When Jesus comes back, we know not when, then satan will be thrown into Hell where he will suffer for eternity. At that time, God will restore creation back to its perfect state and those who follow Jesus will live with Him for eternity where there will be no more pain and suffering.
That's all very well, but why didn't God heal me? Well, in actual fact, He is healing me. All healing is miraculous, the time scale is irrelevant. Healing through medicine is just as God given as healing instantaneously. It is only now that I have started to understand why God has chosen this path for me. The work that God has done in my life and in those around me through cancer is incomparable. That does not mean to say that God made me get cancer, rather, He will turn something horrid into something beautiful, not allowing the suffering to go to waste. I am a completely different person to what I was six months ago, and it is definitely for the better.
I have often asked why I had to go through the pain in order to be changed. I don't have a satisfactory answer to that, but there is one thing I've noticed. I can tell people about the lessons I've learnt the hard way but out of the masses that hear my words, it is in only a very few that those words sink into their hearts and produce a lasting transformation in their lives. In most people, it makes them think for a little while, but then it fades into the background and becomes something theoretical. Theory does not produce transformation. It is theory applied to the heart through the knowledge of God's love that produces transformation; it is a transformation that will withstand the test of time and trial. If at all possible, open your heart to what you hear. I would highly recommend learning from the lessons of others rather than going through them yourself.
In this life, all healing is temporary because at some point, we will all die. But there will come a time when Jesus will wipe away every tear from our eyes. That is the day that I long for, but until that day comes, I will live my life for Jesus and doing the works that He has set out for me to do in the hope that when I see Him face to face, He will say, well done, good and faithful servant. It is then, that I will be home.